Peace of Mind Surpasses Other Things Pt. 2

 

After I got my first job, I was so excited, now I had monthly earnings, distance wasn't very far so monthly transportation wasn't such a lump sum. I was going to be saving 25k every month, so before the year runs out, I'd definitely be in my own apartment(So I thought).

3 months in, I was still trying to manage myself, I'd trek a long but trek-able distance with just 50 naira difference so I can save more. I was lucky that where the office was located, you could get meals from 200 above, depending on what you want (Roasted yam and plantain hear am from me sha🤣). At first, my boss was used to stocking the kitchen with drinks and water, but it stopped 2 months later, there were days my MD would be kind to buy me lunch (for projects well done) and other staff too (they were really good to me in that office, had to leave because I needed a better paying job), with all of these, I was still trying so hard to manage.

Months in, months out, I wasn't meeting up with savings, I developed an allergy that comes in almost every month or twice a month. So I had to keep buying drugs to sustain it, then there were other personal issues that needed to be fixed.

It was October already, I became anxious, the year was almost coming to an end and I don't have half of my supposed rent, I became troubled, I started putting pressure on myself, I needed to leave where I was staying, I had to, I needed my space, I needed my privacy. Everyday, my anxiety level kept getting worse, I was no longer in charge of my thoughts, wasn't aware of my environment, I was exhausted almost all the time, there was the urge to be busy all the time, maybe that way money would keep coming and people won't see me as lazy too. My head was all over the place all the time, it was crazy.

Through all of these, my prayer request was, God, open doors for me, bless me with money so I can get my own apartment. That was the highlight of my prayers then, every minute, I am thinking of how I'd make money for my rent.

It was December and I was still broke and restless, how do I get my mom something for Christmas, how about the kids in our house? What about Me? What would I get myself for Christmas? 

 

Then something struck inside of me, I have never been a new year resolution person, I wait for the year to come and I go through it. I told myself this year would be different, I was going to make a new year resolution. 

I went home for the holidays and when it was 31st by 12am, I got down on my knees, and with all that heavy heart and sadness, I asked God for just one thing for 2022 "Peace of Mind," I didn't want to think about anything, I just want God to take over everything, I want to just have a free mind and go with the flow with God, and  guess what? I got it. You may ask how, but believe me, I wasn't thinking about anything, I was always grateful for every day and not paying attention to my worries, it was like magic, I stopped trekking, if I craved for anything, if I have that amount, I'd get it. I had a special cheerleader who encourages me too, and he was supportive, he suffered for my venting sha🤣.. I barely talk to anyone about my problems, but God blessed me with a therapist. I won't say I totally stopped thinking about my problems, once in a long while it comes, but I push it back with prayers. 

2022 is almost over, I don't have my own apartment yet, but I am still positive, I am not overwhelmed by the setback, I am still pushing and I won't stop. 

Take this... You may be going through stuff, you are tired and restless and dunno where your life is headed, here's what "might" work, take a break from the whole demands you keep bombarding God with and ask for peace, it surpasses everything, it doesn't mean your problems would go away, but you'd worry less and you'd feel light. 

 

I promise you. 

 

It may not start immediately, but when you feel it, you'd know. 

 

I pray we all find peace that surpasses all things..