10 Tips to Sustain & Keep A Long Distance Relationship

This is when you don't reside in the same town, city, or state with someone you are dating. In such a situation, the couple usually stay apart from each other and constantly visit themselves when the need arises. This situation can be tiring and mind torturing especially when trust is absent in such a relationship, below, is my own attempt at making you realise that longterm relationships can work if you put in the work.


Many people already believe that long distance relationship never works but truth is 50% of it does, it just depends on how one handles their affair. Your family may discourage it and some of yóur friends wouldn't want to hear about it, according to them, it's just like one pursuing his/her shadow for fear of heart break. Not like I am saying it will be easy or it doesn't have its ups and downs, the extra distance even makes things unachievable, things could get complicated and you will be lonely and sad at times.

Long distance relationship may be tough but it has its surprises too. Here are some tips to keep your love alive and strong;

1. Aim for Something in the Relationship.

This includes;

  • What you want to achieve at end of the day?
  • How long will you guys be apart?
  • What about the future?
  • Do you have any future together?

The truth is, no couple can be in a long distance relationship forever, eventually they will come together. So make a plan with each other.

2. Manage your Expectation by setting Some Ground Rules.

This includes some issues concerning what you guys expect from each other, both materially and character wise;

  • Are you both exclusive?
  • Is it an open relationship?
  • Are you expected to go out on dates with other people?
  • Is it better to be open with each other about all these things?

3. Be very Honest with each other.

Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from inside out. Don’t try to deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. it’s better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it’s too late, do not hide things from each other and do not be deceptive, always bear it in mind that lies won't take you anywhere and that no matter how you try to cover up something, the truth will always be known someday.

4. See the Distance as an Opportunity.

An anonymous writer once said "if you want to live together, you two really have to learn to live apart. View it as a learning journey for the both of you. See it as a test of your love for each other. As the Chinese saying goes, “Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” Instead of thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.

As "Emma" said it to "Will" in Season (4) four of Glee, “I would rather be here, far from you, but feeling really close, rather than close to you but feeling really far away.” – Emma, Glee Season 4

You can see that it's even better you are apart but very close than close but yet apart through some unnecessary attitude or quarrelling.

5. Try to Communicate Regularly, and Creatively

Greet each other “good morning” and “good night” every day — this is a must. On top of that, try to update your partner on your life and its happenings, however mundane some of the things may seem. To up the game, send each other pictures, audio clips and short videos from time to time. By putting in this kind of effort, you make the other person feel loved and attended to. Chat a lot with him or her, speak much on phone and chatter about everything, this will go a long way to strengthening your communication skills with your partner.

6. Know each other’s Schedules and Free times.

It’s very important to know when the other person is busy and when he/she is free, so that you can drop a text or make a call at the right time. You wouldn’t want to disturb your partner when he/she is in the middle of a class or halfway through a business meeting. Know the small and big events that are taking place or will take place in each other’s life e.g, important business trips and meetings, job interviews and etc. This is especially essential when the both of you are living in different time zones.

7. Keep Track of each other’s Social Media Activities.

Like each other’s photos on Facebook and Instagram. Tweet each other, Tag each other. Share things on each other’s walls. Show that you care. Be cool about stalking each other.

8. Make Regular Visits to Each other.

Visits are the highlight of every long distance relationship. After all the waiting and yearning and abstinence, you finally get to meet each other to fulfill all the little things like kissing, holding hands, etc. which are all common to other couples but so very special and extra intimate for people in long distance relationships. It will be like fireworks, glitter bombs, confetti, rainbows and butterflies everywhere.

9. Stay Positive.

You need to be constantly injecting positive energy into the long distance relationship to keep it alive. Yes, the waiting can be painful and you can sometimes feel lonesome but you need to remind yourself that the fruits at the end will be sweet as heaven. One good trick to staying positive is to be grateful all the time. Be thankful that you have someone to love, someone who also loves you back. Be thankful for the little things, like the hand-made letter that arrived safely in your mailbox the other day. Be thankful for each other’s health and safety and be positive with the outcome of the relationship.

10. Enjoy your alone time and your time with Friends and Family.

You are alone but you are not lonely, unless you choose to feel like it. You don’thave to let your world revolve around your partner, you still have you, your friends and your family. Take this time apart to do more with your friends and family. Go to the gym more often. Get a new hobby. Binge-watch shows. There are plenty of things for you to do that doesn’t involve your partner.

Finally, your mind will really have to be there, you have to be into your partner, if your mind is not in the relationship, how then do you intend to make it work?

Focus your mind on other necessary things too but if you are determined to make your relationship work, it will definitely!



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